Ned Problems

21 Scottish Youth Problems

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Here is a list of the 21 Brilliant Scottish Youth Problems. 

This does not reflect the Scots in any way. It is mearly a stereotypical piece of humour. 

1. THE LOCAL OFF LICENCE RAN OUT OF BUCKFAST. I NUTTED THE CASHIER AND TOOK A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY INSTEAD. CANNY MIND THE REST OF THE NIGHT.

2.  THE QUEENS SPEECH CAME ON THE TELE. I NUTTED THE TELE.

3.  MY LOCAL NIGHTCLUB WOULDNAE LET ME IN COS OF MA RANGERS TOP. I NUTTED THE BARMAN AND THE BOUNCER, BUT HE NUTTED ME BACK.

4.  I WENT FOR CHIPS BUT I FORGOT I DONE HIS WINDAE IN LAST WEEKEND, HE NUTTED ME.

 5. I WAS OUT ROBBING AND WENT FOR A PISH IN THIS FIELD. THESE HIGHLAND COOS STARTED CHASING ME. I LOST MY CROWBAR.

6.  THE CORNER SHOP CHARGED ME TOO MUCH FOR FAGS AND SKINS. I JUMPED OVER THE COUNTER, GRABBED ANOTHER PACK AND WALKED OOT.....JAW STILL HURTS.



 

7.  THE $**** DOLE #***** TRIED TO STOP MY BENEFITS. I TELT HER IT WAS THE WEINS BIRTHDAY AND WE HAD A BOUNCY CASTLE HIRED. SHE JUST CLOSED HER WEE WINDOW ON ME. I'VE NO SEEN HER SINCE. SHE WAS GOING TO GET NUTTED.

8.  SOMEONE MENTIONED THIS SCOTTISH INDEPENDANCE SHIT TODAY. I SAID, GET THEY ENGLISH OOT.

9.  IF THAT  DUG DOESNAE SHUT UP, I'M GONNAE NUT THE OWNER.

10.  JUST DROPPED MY BOTTLE O GINGER, NO CLEANING THAT UP.

11.  TENNENTS SPECIAL ON OFFER. YESSS!

12.  STOPPPED AT THE BUS STOP FOR A SMOKE, JAMESY CLOCKED ME, IM DUE HIM MONEY I GOT THAT I OWED TO RAB. NOW I'M HIDING FROM RAB, AND JAMESY!

13.  THE DELIVERY GUY FORGOT THE EXTRA DONER MEAT AGAIN, I SWEAR DOWN, AM NO USING THEM AGAIN.

14.  RANGERS WON - GET IT UP YA.

15.  CELTIC LOST - GET IT DOON YA.

16. CHIPPY RAN OUT OF STEAK PIES. GOT A SAUSAGE SUPPER AND A PICKLE INSTEAD.

17.  THE DOLE JUST GAVE ME A CRISIS LOAN, I'M OFF TAE THE BOOKIES.

18.  WHEN I LEAVE SCOTLAND, NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME WHEN I SAY "HO YOU, I'M GONNAE STICK THE NUT RIGHT IN YOU" .

19.  I DINNY KNOW HOW I ENDED UP IN HERE. I MIND THE POLIS MAN HANDING ME A FINE, I BLANKED OUT AFTER THAT.

20.  AFF TAE THE GYM TO.....BREAK INTO THE LOCKERS.
 
21.  THE DELIVERY GUY FORGOT THE EXTRA DONER MEAT AGAIN, I SWEAR DOWN, AM NO USING THEM AGAIN!